A mixed bag

Being a landlady is rather similar to being a circus performer. Publican's can't take their job (or themselves) too seriously, but the pub does have to provide both publican and staff (or in my case, my family) with 'gainful' employment. I use the word 'gainful' with caution, I am not in this for the money, I am lucky to be doing a job I adore, in a fantastic pub, staffed by relatives I love and frequented by people who I am genuinely interested in and like. Not only that but Tutbury is a beautiful village and the sense of community here is second to none! Sounds idyllic, doesn't, it? And to be honest, for the most part it is! However, a publican (or circus performer) has to have the ability to juggle. It' a necessity, and the ability to juggle with enthusiasm, drive, thought and caring, and to the best of one's ability with a smile on your face and a joke or humorous banter at the ready, regardless of how you are actually feeling is absolutely essential. People come to our 'big top' to have a good time, and quite rightly expect to be greeted by a smile, friendly service and for everything to be as close to perfection as possible. That is what we want too, indeed we strive for it everyday. So, regardless of how we feel, personal or pub related problems aside, we try to push our own ups further up, and bury the downs, because, just like in the circus, whatever happens, they show must go on.

I do often think that to someone looking at myself and my family on face value would conclude that we, and more specifically me (as Ringmaster/Landlady) are hard faced and thick skinned. To some extent, we do often have to slightly remove ourselves from situations or events that occur around us, not because we don't care, but because we DO.

Last Wednesday saw the funeral, following the sad and untimely death, of one of our customers. I decided, as a mark of respect and to allow for myself and my family to attend the funeral, that The Leopard would remain closed until 3pm (we normally open at 12 Midday). We told as many people as possible of this decision, put a notice on the door to this effect and posts on Social Media too. Wednesday morning, prior to the funeral, I also had a meeting at 11am, so my morning was spent rushing around getting ready for the funeral and meeting, whilst doing all the usual things necessary to ensure the smooth running of my business and ensuring that the pub would be ready to open when we returned. The funeral was, obviously, upsetting for us all. Upon our return, we sat and reflected, quietly, over a quick cup of tea, and then it was time to open up. I also decided to give Callum (my son/barman) the day off, so I worked the bar myself, that afternoon and evening.

Despite being upset by the funeral, dealing with the feelings of sympathy I had for the bereaved family, the manic nature of my morning and having to work, I put a smile on my face and went about my duties, with, what I hope was, a modicum of professionalism. Many of our customers also knew the lady who had passed away, they too had attended the funeral, from them I drew some comfort: they felt as I did. But, there were those who did not and I received 'complaints' regarding the lateness of our opening hour from some of those who came in. To some of you reading this, such complaints may seem callous. However, consider things from their point of view, as I have to. They are used to the regularity of our opening times, they didn't know the lady, and they wanted to come and unwind for a few hours in the pub, as normal. The fact that for many, myself included, normality had been suspended that afternoon to make way for mourning, was overlooked, as it neither affected nor interested them. Sometimes, and this was one of those times, I have to forget my own 'troubles' and consider our customers needs. They wanted that 'perfection', I tried my best to give it to them.

On the subject of death, another landlord once told me that attending customers funerals was a waste of a publican's valuable time, that it was inevitable that customers would die, and that unless the wake was being held in the pub you run, you had no business attending either. He also went on to explain that rather than mourning the loss, a good publican sould focus instead on finding new custom to replace that which had been lost. I didn't choose to ignore this 'advice', my feelings for those we have lost since taking over The Leopard, together with my own morals and genuine fondness for those we have met since coming here, made up my mind for me. Yes, I am a business woman and a landlady, but I am a human being first and foremost, and like every other human being I am affected by a whole host of things on an almost daily basis. Shock reveal: I do have feelings!

My immediate response to this Landlord's advice? My family were given strict instructions that should I ever put money before people or stop caring about customers, our neighbours, friends and the community, they should have me taken away to a deep, dark forest and shoot me!

Following the sad day that was Wednesday, it was nice to get some time off on Thursday and go out for a while. Don't panic, I didn't go to far, just to my daughter's. Jodie is expecting her first child in 10 weeks time, and on Thursday evening myself, my other daughter Sadie and Jodie's friends celebrated this momentous, forthcoming event with a baby shower. I can't wait to meet my new granddaughter, in fact, I love being a Nanny! Grandchildren are great, full of fun, innocence, love and laughter and, unlike parenting, I get all the 'good stuff' with none of the responsibility. Brilliant!! A good time was had by all at the Baby Shower, we had a lot of laughs, played silly games, talked babies and other girlie gossip abounded too.

Friday daytime was spent catching up with things in readiness for the weekend. On Friday nights (and Tuesday's too) The Leopard becomes Tutbury's Poker Palace. Those of you who have never played Texas Hold 'Em are missing out. The game itself is pretty much a case of following the rules (of which there are not that many) and your gut instincts whilst hoping that lady luck is on your side. But it's the camaraderie of the players I love. It really is a great social event, there's lots of chat, fun and giggles at the poker table. If you get the chance, come along and join the table, then you'll see what I mean.

One of our players is a French lady, her English is excellent, her game needs work (she will insist on reading books about how to play, which only serve to mess with her mojo!) and her sense of fun is catching. Last night, before she left, she was explaining that she needed a cigarette for a fancy dress 'Murder Mystery' party she was going to. As she doesn't smoke, she decided to source a nub end for this purpose. Having been told that nub ends were not the way to go, I gave her a cigarette to use. The nubs she had collected in a paper tissue we're playfully knocked from her hands by Callum, who then jokingly 'told her off' for putting nub ends on the pavement. She played along and picked them up. In fact she continued picking up a few more stray butts and placing them in the ash bin. I told her to stop, explaining that she was doing Callum out of a job. To this she replied, "I can't help it, I have to pick them up, I have that AC/DC!". Needless to say, her English isn't always excellent, but her sense of humour certainly is.

I love naturally occurring humour like that, it's so much more meaningful, in and of the moment, than joke telling. Sometimes, especially, when I am not feeling particularly positive or happy, the customers, without knowing, can bolster me up, with a bit of banter or a simple remark. Pepe (the French lady's Leopard Name) did that for me last night. So did a few others. (And many have in the past too) For that I am grateful, it was good to be able to laugh, especially after a week of very mixed emotions.